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"There is no doubt that the first requirement for a composer
is to be dead."
- Arthur Honegger (1892-1955), Swiss composer
- Arthur Honegger (1892-1955), Swiss composer
Part 1
In a February 1993 episode of the now defunct television series Quantum Leap, Dr. Sam Becket leapt into an eccentric artistic vampire by the name of Nigel Corrington. Being a Corrington myself, I could not ignore the traits that mythical bloodsucker and yours truly shared:
- Unique (albeit warped) perspectives of the world.
- Degrees in Fine Art.
- Our favorite color being black.
- A lack of church attendance.
- A preference to sleep all day and work nights.
- Pickiness about our diets, such as a partiality for high-protein drinks.
- A more than casual curiosity about magic.
- Avoiding the harmful rays of the sun, although his ashen skin would burn far more... and much quicker... than mine.
- Vampirism. Not just a fascination in the subject but actually being one. Nigel would remain a vampire for the rest of his existence while I was one professionally for nine months.
By the way, listing "professional vampire" on your résumé has a tendency to make future employers extremely leery about hiring you. They fear that, if they cross you (pun intended), one night you will fly through their bedroom window, rip out their throats and transform them into drooling, mindless slaves. Although that idea has merit, frankly, it's too much work. (If only it were that easy.) American-style vampires have trouble metamorphosing into mist (what with smog polluting your form) and ripping through window screens with fang & claw takes too long. Then there is all that ornamental wrought iron people using to bar their windows. Their pointy metal edges are murder on one's wardrobe. No, it is simpler to push your employer in front of an oncoming semi and let the old steel belteds finish the job. Uh... Not that I've actually done that, of course. That would be evil... under most circumstances. And the mileage on your bosses may vary.
Wait a second, all you semantic screeching pseudo-intellectuals. I know what you're thinking. To be a professional anything, one must be paid for his/her services or talents. (For example: I can claim to be a professional artist because I have sold over a dozen paintings in my lifetime. I would also be a starving artist if that was my only source of income.) To be a professional vampire, I would have to have earned money from being one.
Yep. As a part of my weekly paycheck. As for where and when...
